Tag Archives: childhood

What We Choose and Who We Become

By Will

There is a story told by the Indian mystic Osho which involves two men imprisoned. “It was a full moon night; both were standing near the window of their dark cell. The full moon was there. One was looking at the moon, it was rainy season and there was much water and mud in front of the window. Dirty, and it was smelling and stinking. One man continued to look at the moon, the other continued to look at the mud. The man who was looking at the mud, of course, was feeling very miserable. And the man who was looking at the moon was aflame, aglow; His face was reflecting the moon, his eyes were full of beauty. He had completely forgotten that he was imprisoned.” Both men are standing at the same window but both men are choosing different things. Both men are seeing and focusing on different external objects that reflect their inner sense of self. Osho also uses another good example; that of the rose bush. Some will focus on the beautiful rose and some will focus on the thorns. However, If we looked at the rose bush fully, we would look at the rose and the thorns. If the rose represents light and the thorns represent darkness, we need to be aware of both to live consciously. Interestingly, the thorns protect the beautiful rose. The darkness is also there to protect us. Physically, if we did not have pain sensors and nerves, we could seriously damage our physical body. Without darkness the light would be too blinding for us. So to be conscious means to be balanced between the light and darkness, to be aware of both, without letting one override the other.

Unconsciously, many of us have a tendency to create or be involved in the very problems and scenarios that we are also trying to solve. This juxtaposition is created for a reason. If we were not fighting against someone or some part of ourselves, we would not be engaged in something. If we had no hope or strife, what would we be striving for? What would we be left with? More often when we eventually work something out that has been troubling us we tend to feel empty. Our ego likes something to get it’s teeth into and often gets away with us. Many of us at some point have struggled with our parents, constantly saying ‘no’ to them. Therefore we have a ‘no’ to fight against and this identity to hold on to. When we leave the family home we may feel empty as saying ‘no’ gave our whole life meaning. Now who do we say ‘no’ to? The tree does not fight against the wind. It does not tense up as the wind starts to gust against it. The trees roots are deep, and naturally it is grounded by it’s roots and sways in the wind naturally.

So if we are aware of both dimensions of our thoughts and our feelings, and practice being conscious of these, we will start to grow deeper and sturdier roots and our blossoming can start to happen. To begin with this can be very difficult as we are conditioned as children by our parents, grandparents, school and society not to have our own voice. Letting go of their voices can feel like death, so many of us may pull back and stick to what we know and are used to. But if we can continue, we start to disappear and we give space for something more divine and true to enter ourselves.

You came into this world utterly unbiased, pure and innocent without any preconditioned notions of who you were. Zen people call it the ‘original face’. ~ Osho


Filed under My Experiences On The Couch


By Will

The child is separated once again from its parent,
He gazes up through tears of worry,
Will someone pick him up,
Or is his death imminent,
What will become of the boy,
Without mindful caring,
His worst fears play on the big screen,
While crystals become warm in the palms of two.

*Poem dedicated to Peter Wilkin


Filed under My Experiences On The Couch

The Raging Child

By Will

Most of us are probably aware of the terrible two’s where a child realises over time that he is not the master of the universe and everything in it. That he is governed by another, namely his guardian, and he is not in control of all people and things. It raises a tough question in the child’s psyche; so if I am not everything… I am out of control, and others, have control. Paddy’s often follow with kicking and screaming, until there is some kind of acceptance while he tries to make sense of the world around him. However I don’t feel that there is full acceptance, but more of a storing of the child’s inner wishes, so that someday he may seek revenge and reclaim control of his world once again. The rage that the child feels is red hot and stays with the child throughout adult life and the terrible two’s is one of the many examples of rage inducing disappointments a child may have to endure in his development stage. The more that I delve into my own experiences as a child I deem this to be true.

Rage is hardly attractive, in our culture as we know it, and so the hot coal of rage has to be dampened to fit in with our society and our friends and family. This can be achieved in many ways but on the whole rage is stored inwardly if it is not expressed. I think the same situation arises in adults and toddlers as without the ability to express their needs, instead resort to whatever behaviours they can carry out saying “no” and acting against the world at large and with adults this can mean depression. I remember reading many years ago that depression is anger turned inwards and I would agree with that on the whole. Rage in adult life it may be expressed through delusion and clinging to false hopes and also by letting off steam in ways that are not conducive to our true nature.

Rage has it’s place, however wrong it may feel, and when we acknowledge this we can allow it to breathe and flow like a volcano. It is both natural and damaging and damaging and natural. It is our thought about rage that enrages us, not the existence of a demonic but necessary part of our fuel for life. We seek to rid ourselves of rage and keep it hidden at all costs. The main cost however is a stifling of our energy and time that may be wasted on situations that harm us. Many of us may ask, how can I get rid of this rage, and sadly the answer may not be how we can rid ourselves of it but how can we use it, rather than being used by it.

And die of nothing but a rage to live ~ Alexander Pope


Filed under My Experiences On The Couch